"You're not the only one with a gun, bitch."

It's official... I've jumped on the "Avatar" band wagon. Thinking back, I can't remember a sci-fi/action movie that lived up to all of the expectations quite like Avatar does. I left completely satisfied and more... not only was it entertaining and visually stunning, it carried an amazing message, which is fairly uncommon for a hollywood pic of it's budget and genre.

Granted it did have it's flaws. Let's start with those.

First off, Sam Worthington (Jake) REALLY needs to work on his American accent. His Australian roots were constantly betrayed, and while I do tend to be a stickler about accents, it was actually somewhat distracting for me. His acting, along with the rest of the characters was mediocre but it didn't really matter. Ironically, I thought his acting was better and more believable when he was his Avatar character than when he was just himself.

Before seeing the movie I had heard some complaints that the plot was too simple and too obvious. Yes... the plot is fairly simple in it's basic components but that's what makes it so good. The simple plot and ultimate goal is fairly simple which allows for a lot of detail to go into telling each little part... hence the 3 hours. The simple plot allowed for the huge underlying message to shine through. Without the film's message (which I'm not really going to get into just go see the movie), it would have been just another sci-fi alien movie that cost way too much money to make. But thankfully, it is a movie with a point that makes the point in a very visual way.

Most people probably went to see "Avatar" for the special effects. If just for that reason, they definitely got their monies worth. The world that Cameron and his grew created is absolutely phenomenal. Now, a few days ago, a friend of mine, who had already seen it, pointed out that in many of his design classes they talk about creating a visual style that while maybe not "realistic" in the sense that you think it actually exists, it's cohesiveness and vision makes it believable. This is completely true for "Avatar." No, I do not think that this world or these blue people actually exist and yes they do look rather ridiculous at times. However, the world and the characters that were created to live in that world are completely, 100% believable.

One thing I found really interesting was the film's negative look at the American military. The military is totally the bad guy which rarely occurs in the movies, especially in billion dollar blockbusters. While it may be a little exaggerated, the point the film is making I think is a valid one and one that needs to be considered.

I hope that when people see "Avatar," that they leave the theater thinking wow, what happened to those people was terrible, I get the connection to real life, I get that this travesty, while maybe not with blue cat people, could definitely happen again and I'm not going to allow that to happen. I feel like this movie is a rare opportunity for people to be really changed and morally challenged by a hollywood blockbuster and I hope that viewers appreciate it for that and just the cool effects. (4.8 out of 5)

"You do know that what you are drinking is meant for eye surgery?"

So tonight I had a solemn reminder of why having a boyfriend is convenient... you don't have to go see "Sherlock Holmes" by yourself. But alas, I am boyfriendless and I really wanted to see Robert Downey Jr. kick some ass so I went and I'm sure glad I did! Long story short... when the hell did Sherlock Holmes become a badass? If you want to see an example of the old Holmes watch "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" (1939) with Basil Rathbone. As far as I can remember there is no ass kicking or boxing matches for the detective in this one. But anyway, it was a really great movie, surprisingly so actually... I give it 4.75/5 stars. Definitely see it. Hopefully Robert Downey Jr. will stay clean and keep up with this come back he's been on lately.

Ok, on to more pressing matters. I bought a ring yesterday. Thanks to Sadie I've deemed it my "I love me" ring. It's a white gold ring with a 14k diamond in square setting with cutouts on the side. It's from the 1910s/1920s. And why do I need such a piece of jewelry? It was a symbolic purchase to remind myself that I am a strong and independent woman who needs to focus on herself and doesn't need to depend on a man in her life. I also have come to the realization that I'm probably not going to be getting a real engagement ring for at least the next five or ten years so why not get myself one to enjoy now in the interim? So far the ring is fulfilling its purpose. I feel better than I have ever felt about my new single status and hell, it looks really good. Now I just have to go the next three or four months without any new clothes purchases or dying my hair and it will all be worth it.

I'm realizing I have a lot to say in this post... warning it's going to be a long one!

Let me preface this next section by saying that today was a two movie day. Before "Sherlock Holmes" I watched "A la Mode" (1993) a french film about a boy who becomes an orphan and gets apprenticed to a tailor. He eventually discovers his love for fashion and starts designing unique one of a kind suits and dresses such as one out of grass and flowers.

Now let me regress. Before watching "A la Mode" I went for a midmorning run/walk on the beach trails. I couldn't find my Ipod headphones so I was forced to entertain myself with my thoughts... they ended up getting pretty deep. I started challenging myself to think about where I would be in 10 years... then 20. That was way to complicated so I tried five years... even that was really hard. Finally I tried just one year. Where did I see myself in one year. Well, hopefully I'll know if and where I'm going to grad school or if I'm doing the bakery thing or maybe something else... pretty vague right?

And then it hit me.

People always say that the person you fall in love with should love you for you. Well how the hell is someone supposed to love me for me when I don't even know who I am? Now, it's not that I'm completely unsure of my future plans it's just that I have A LOT of options and I'm not really ready to nail myself down to one yet. But how in all honesty can I expect someone to truly fall in love with me when I'm not really ready for them to? I mean, I have no idea where I will be or where I want to be 20, 10, or even 5 years down the line. I'm starting to believe that it would be foolish to tie myself down to someone now before I've given myself time to figure all this out.

So all of this kind of connects with "A la Mode." Fausto (the orphan) could never have guessed that he was going to end up a fashion designer. It just kind of happened. Granted, he does end up proposing to his love interest after he finds out she's pregnant but that happens to be after he's started to make it big and is well on his way to becoming a famous designer. I think this movie is a great example of how the future is ambiguous and things will happen that you never could have imagined. (4.6 out of 5 stars)

Looking back at where I was last year I never would have thought that I would be single right now. But I am and it's time to make the most of it and make a commitment to stay true to myself and take the path I want to take, not one that someone else prescribes... this probably doesn't mean becoming a fashion designer, but I'm keeping my options open.

"I am the master of my destiny, the captain of my soul"

Tonight I went out with permahook-up to see Invictus. Now let's start this off by saying I know nothing about rugby (except the players are kind of sexy in a tough, I kick ass way), and nothing about South Africa (except that some bad stuff has happened there and my cousin's kind-of girlfriend lives there). So needless to say, I went into the whole thing kind of blind.

The story was great and uplifting... a feel good ending. Matt Damon was surprisingly good. And Morgan Freeman was... well, Morgan Freeman.

Now to the not so good stuff. It was sooooo slow. It wasn't long... just slow. Everything seemed to take extra long to accomplish, which leads to my next complaint: it was super repetitive. One scene showed the same shots of the same people doing the same things over and over and over. The climax of the final few minutes of the game took absolutely forever. I understand that they were trying to show many different people's reactions and how the whole country was watching... but really, two minutes of the game turned into 20 minutes in real time, which I find a little excessive.

I felt like nothing was ever really explained. One minute all of the black Africans hate the rugby team because they represent apartheid and the next minute, everyone is cheering for them with really no explanation of why feelings shifted.

My last complaint, and it's the biggest.... during the scene where Mandela lands in a helicopter on the rugby practice field pleeeease pay attention to the song. It is this weird emo punk song about being colorblind that does not fit the feel of the movie AT ALL. Yeah, sure the lyrics kind of work but when it is combined with the African style music of the rest of the movie it just sounds terrible! I literally cracked up in the middle of the scene because I couldn't believe how awkward the song was.

With all of the said, it sends a good message and is a good slice of history that a lot of Americans probably don't know much about. For all of my critiques, I do recommend watching it... once it comes out on dvd that is... save the eight bucks for something of quality... like the next Terminator.

"Miss independent, won't you come and spend a little time?"

In my last blog I mentioned that independence wasn't far from loneliness... well I haven't been able to shake this thought. I actually caught myself thinking about it while driving to the store today. So why is it bugging me... or rather, why is it scaring me?

After Rob and I broke up I started to realize just how dependent I am on the guy I'm dating. I truly NEED them. I base things around them and have things that I can't, or just really don't want, to do without them. I guess this isn't completely a bad thing, but it gets bad when I start to lose myself as an individual, which often seems to happen.

Now that I'm single I've had to start doing things myself that normally I would wait for Rob to be around to do. For example... braving my sketch ass laundry room in the dungeon by myself... pumping air into my bike tires... this is not a girl's job. This is a boy's job, but whatever.

While I'm starting to feel more independent in the sense that I don't feel tied to a man, I'm also starting to feel lonely. Sometimes I like feeling helpless... When a guy cuddles me I feel protected and taken care of. For me, being dependent is feeling safe... which, after I just typed those words I realize is kind of ironic. Isn't being dependent upon someone else often more risky than being dependent only on yourself? Alas, this has gotten even more complicated.

You may be asking how all of this relates to movies... well here you go. For a perfect example of my Independence/loneliness issue please watch, "Home Alone." I know, I know... I promised good movies but whatever it is a childhood classic right? Ok, so in "Home Alone" all that Kevin wants is to be independent, for his family to leave and never come back. Well, he gets his wish when his family forgets him as they leave for Paris. At first, Kevin is thrilled with his newfound independence, running around the house screaming and eating junk food.... my big kid version of this is one night stands, dating and making bad decisions as a single girl. However, after a while, Kevin gets tired of this new freedom and longs for his loving and neurotic family.

This is the point I'm at. I love feeling in control of myself for once. I don't have anyone to answer to but myself which feels great. But at the same time, I'm scared for when this feeling of independence is replaced with loneliness. One night stands and hook-up buddies only go so far and they definitely don't care of you when you need it most. As a believer in woman power, I hate to think that I really neeed a man. But maybe I do. Not right now exactly, but I'm pretty sure eventually I'll get sick of being Miss Independent and long for the days of having a boy to watch my back.

Well I guess that's about it... I just want to add that I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to relate "Home Alone" to my sex life... that's skill.

Let's give this a shot shall we?

I've been meaning to start this blog for a long time now. My idea: write about all of the movies I watch and compare them to my life. Now, you might be thinking, what does a 20 (almost 21) year-old really have to say about quality movies. Don't they all just watch the newest American Pie spin-off and call it good? I can't speak for the rest of my generation but for me, this is completely false.

First off, I tend to stray from the "typical" films many people my age enjoy. I've been watching film noirs and the best in classic cinema since I was about 5... no joke. My dad is a huge fan of black and white films so that's what I've grown up on. Movies are really a huge part of my life and I know more about them than many 50+ year olds probably do.

You have no idea how many movies I watch... no idea. On average, when I'm not super busy with school, it's probably about 5 a week, with some tv series mixed in for good measure. And these movies range from 40s film noirs, to silents, to the latest blockbuster, to an 80s B pic that should have never been made. I will honestly watch absolutely anything and everything... once.

I'll probably get into my background more later but basically my ultimate goal is to attend film school after I graduate with my undergrad in magazine journalism.

This idea was originally spawned by my now ex-boyfriend Rob who thought I needed an outlet for my movie obsession. Well, he's gone but the idea stuck.

So why start it now? Well today I was watching Sex and the City: Season 1. Yes, yes... I know this isn't a movie but whatever I watch TV Series too. I've only ever watched a few random episodes on TV but when Netflix recommended it, I said what the hell, lets watch every season and see what all the fuss was about. Turns out this was a good idea. "Sex and the City" is pretty much my life (minus NY and being able to spend 400 dollars on a pair of shoes) right now in my newly single status.

I've never been single for more than 3 months since I got my first boyfriend at 16 as a Junior in High School. That's all about to change. I'm currently on the six month challenge with a friend to go 6 months without a serious relationship. It's been a few weeks now and so far so good. I LOVE the single life.

Back to SATC. I realized while watching the first 4 episodes that the feelings while being single are pretty universal. You might like it but at the same time it sucks. You may feel independent but at the same time, I'm starting to realize that the feeling of independence and the feeling of loneliness aren't far apart.

In the first episode, Carrie talks about having sex like a man. No strings attached, no emotion. You have sex and that's it. Well, without knowing it, I've been trying that out the last few weeks with what I have now deemed my "perma-hookup" buddy. Part of me feels like it's working and the other part is just waiting for me to get upset about something and break down and realize I want more with him. I know I want more... eventually. For now I'm good, but I'm just waiting for some switch in my brain to flip the wrong way. That's how it usually seems to happen.

Well, the blog is started. It might be a little "ranty" but I think it will get more form as it goes on.